1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta according to package directions until al dente, usually about 9-11 minutes. Drain and set aside, reserving 1 cup of pasta water.
2. In a large skillet over medium heat, add the chopped bacon. Cook until crispy, about 6-8 minutes. Use a slotted spoon to transfer bacon to a paper towel-lined plate, leaving the bacon fat in the skillet.
3. Add olive oil to the bacon fat if needed, then add diced onion to the skillet. Sauté for 3-4 minutes until translucent and fragrant.
4. Add minced garlic and cook for another 30 seconds, stirring constantly to avoid burning.
5. Add ground beef, breaking it up with a spoon. Season with smoked paprika, onion powder, salt, and pepper. Cook until browned and no longer pink, about 7-8 minutes.
6. Reduce heat to low. Pour in heavy cream and milk, stirring to combine. Allow the mixture to warm for 2-3 minutes but do not boil.
7. Stir in Parmesan and cheddar cheese gradually, letting each addition melt smoothly into the sauce.
8. Add the cooked pasta to the skillet, tossing to coat in the sauce. If the sauce feels too thick, add reserved pasta water a little at a time until you reach your desired consistency.
9. Fold in crispy bacon pieces and, if using, diced pickles for that authentic cheeseburger crunch.
10. Give everything one last stir, taste, and adjust seasoning if needed. Serve immediately with extra cheese sprinkled on top if you’re feeling wild.

When I first made this, I underestimated how fast the cheese melts and coats the pasta—it’s like magic in the pan. My kids were hovering the whole time, and I swear the kitchen smelled like our favorite burger joint by the time we sat down.